I thought I was making one big decision.

Truth was...

I'd already made it.

One rehearsal.

One conversation.

One standing ovation.

One missed walk.

One small choice at a time.

Until...

there really wasn't a decision left to make.

A few days later...

I asked Maybe if we could talk.

I remember exactly where I did it.

On the front porch of her house.

I'd asked if we could talk before I left for a show that evening.

My guitar case was already in my hand.

Across the street...

the van was already waiting.

Funny...

I don't remember where we were playing that night.

I don't remember who else was riding in the van.

But I remember that porch.

I remember the front steps.

The screen door behind her.

The guitar case in my hand.

And I remember Maybe standing there.

She smiled when she saw me.

She had absolutely no idea...

what was about to happen.

"What did you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath.

"We need to break up."

She just looked at me.

The smile slowly disappeared from her face.

After what felt like forever...

she finally whispered...

"Why, Billy?"

I opened my mouth.

Nothing came out.

Because I didn't have an answer.

At least not one I understood.

Looking back...

I know now she hadn't done anything wrong.

The only thing that had changed...

was me.

There were a hundred things I could have said.

I could have told her I was scared of how much she mattered.

I could have told her I was confused.

I could have told her the attention had gone to my head.

I could have told her I had started believing there might be something bigger waiting for me.

The truth was...

I was too young to understand the heart I was holding in my hands.

Funny how memory works.

We think we remember the words.

We don't.

We remember the feeling.

And sometimes...

if we're lucky...

those feelings... 

and a heartfelt apology... 

eventually find their way into a song.